Guest lists... the pecking order

Ahh, the guest list. Something that should be so easy, but that politics make so difficult.

Do you invite this person?- If you do, shouldn't you also invite this person and that person? Soon, if you're not careful you'll end up with the whole village and their dogs at your wedding!

• The best idea is always aim to keep it small - invite only your immediate family and closest of friends - those who matter most to you as a couple. These people are important to you, and should be valued so.

• Further to the sentimental value of the people you invite is (unfortunately!) always the cost. Caterers generally charge per head and venues cost more, the more people they can house. It stands to reason that the more heads you have = the bigger the cost. Stick to your budget.

• Try not to be overpowered and stand your ground. Don't be influenced by people telling you who should and shouldn't be there- it is YOUR wedding, only you know this.

• I have never been a fan of allowing guests for the parents either - I know a few brides who were made to allow for this, and the situation with one of them spiralled to the parents having invited half the people attending- leaving the bride feeling extremely uncomfortable! If you do feel you really need to allow for this, be firm and put a cap on it - only allow for people you have actually met and know, not just trophy guests invited to make numbers and show off.

Our wedding was small and intimate with only 25 guests invited to the day-time. We didn't invite all the people my family wanted us to, and BOY did this cause major controversy and hours of arguments, but when it came to the day, no-one said anything about it and there were no "consequences" to our decision. If anything, I think people better understood the atmosphere we were hoping the day to have, and in not inviting 3rd cousins twice removed and second aunts who I met once but now live on the moon, we well and truly acheived it.

I guess the point i'm trying to make is that as with anything in the planning stages, do what YOU want. Don't ever feel pressured into inviting people you don't want there, just because you "should". Stick to your guns and choose the people you want to share your day with wisely, because the next political challenge is the seating plan!

Love,